Thursday 11 April 2013

Rare Australasian bird sighted at Farmoor 9th April 2013

On a grey, cold and windy Wednesday antipodean actress and all round beauty Nicole Kidman was seen in full summer plumage and occasionally showing well  at the far end of the Farmoor Causeway, apparently filming 'on location'. Yes. Nicole Kidman. Can you believe it?  My Auntie was called Nicole.

Local Oxonbirder and roving reporter Tel Dreadlock was, by chance, on hand to catch the moment  and was granted a rare two minute interview with the Ozzy temptress between takes and eucalyptus sarnies. His first question to the Australian beauty, 'What's it like down under?' could have been misconstrued but the Aussie lovely merely smiled and asked him if he got gripped off often, told Tel  he was such a tease and she was much more interested in the rumoured Water Pipit as she needed it for her Farmoor list and would Tel please pass the HP Sauce. 

Tel's second question, trying to catch an antipodean flavour and make this vision of loveliness feel more at home amongst Farmoor's flies, goose shit and dead fish concerned that Ozzy favourite, Vegemite and did Nicole like it spread all over or just a bit on the side. By now the 'assorted  luvvies' were getting concerned about the direction this was going but as with all true professionals and obsessives our visiting radiant beauty persisted in asking for details of any notable sightings that day and where could she catch a sighting of a Badger as she heard they were similar to a Possum. 

Tel was at a loss, as before he could answer she noticed his lens and complimented him on the size of it and said she had not seen such a big one since the time Tom Schmooze fell off the stool while adjusting his focal length and sharpening her pixels. Well that put the proverbial galah amongst the marsupials. Tel went weak at the knees and started dribbling and stuttering. Anxiously, 'assorted luvvies' and best boys rushed to usher him away before he did himself further mischief.

Later starstruck and distraught by the water's edge, fondling a gull and covered in algae he was heard muttering 'Just a few more minutes was all I needed. I've got Blue Tits on my Farmoor list anyway. Wasn't she married to Rolf Harris?'

1 comment: